oh no ... SAD even earlier this year ...

Hi Sandy, im sorry you are feeling low, I ve been a bit up and down in the last few days, I hope we get at least a few sunny days soon, (wish I had the money to live in Spain).
Take care and hope your lamp helps you to feel better soon.


paul

I've tried uploading a new profile pic so shouldn't be long. I can appreciate some people don't like the bum!

I just wish the picture was more work-friendly. I visit here from work if I'm feeling kind of down or lonely.

Personally, it's not something I'm interested in seeing, in any event. It's a pleasure to talk to OBE, tho.

I was in a relationship for 10 years and I ended it because the guy I was seeing said that his parents' owed him, and I wanted to see him show that he was interested in becoming financially independent of them, but at the time he told me he was lying to his parents about visiting temp agencies -- that he stayed home when he told them he'd gone out looking.

He knew about SAD, of course, and was supportive. I sometimes worry about starting a new relationship and having to say at some point, "Look, I have a tough time in the winter-time." I get lonely sometimes, but my brain steps in and says that "no relationship at all is better than a bad relationship." I've spent some time re-investing efforts in my OWN interests and un-weaving those things that I learned I only liked because I was dating someone... Even down to TV shows that I thought I enjoyed but realized I don't!

I did meet someone on the bus on Saturday. He initiated the conversation and was very pleasant and polite. It was a rare time that I actually asked someone, "Hey, I enjoyed talking with you. Do you want to chat again sometime?" He asked for my email address and I haven't yet heard from him. It hurts a little. I'm still vaguely hopeful. Part of me wonders if I said something wrong. Part of me keeps saying, "Don't be silly, it's only Tuesday -- maybe he's been busy, or he's trying not to look over-eager." And then I'm warning myself not to get too emotionally involved... the whole sha-bang that I always tell myself I won't go through, but always do.

Truth is, relationships can't be forced... they just happen. A lot of harm comes from anxieties and rushing things.

In the meantime, I've found a lot of satisfaction in spending time "untangling" myself from the last relationship. I took up some interests because it brought my ex and I together and now I'm finding out that I actually don't enjoy those TV programs, movies, discussions that I thought I did... I have very different opinions. That's what scares me about a relationship... I'm glad to explore new things, but I wish I could honestly assess whether or not I was still being "me" or if I was compromising and at least just be honest with myself. It's OK if I compromise knowingly and not blindly. I've seen myself start to fall head-over-hills and I've been really let-down... It's a scary rollercoaster ride. Sometimes I see it happening and I can't seem to stop it.

I live for the emotional high... the "fun" of it, and so I'm much more at risk for "hitting bottom" as well.

As for SAD, do you think the other person you met is perfect in every way? I think we all have our imperfections, problems and insecurities. I think there are two things that can be very damaging in relationships: anxiety and rushing things. And I recognize both in myself... best thing is to be aware and try to control it... wait for the proper times and take things slowly.

If she's noticed that something's changed, it's probably best to be honest and tell her you're doing your best with it. Find a way to explain it that's not overcomplicated or overly emotional. I tell people matter-of-factly (if they ask/notice) that when it gets darker in the wintertime, my brain gets the signal that "It's dark, time to sleep!" I say that when you're tired a lot, it can affect your mood. I tell them that I'm doing my best to make sure I feel better.

Things might not always be that rosy for you... You know how hard it is and sometimes SAD just overwhelms you despite your best efforts -- but at least it prepares the other person to at least understand why you're acting the way you are. I hope this helps out... it's definitely a tough thing and you have to think about how you are most comfortable explaining it and what it might sound like to someone else hearing about it for the first time.

Hey thanks for the replies peeps.
It's all gone pair shaped by the look of things with regards to said lady.
I've been coming down with a virus or flu type thing and it finally hit this bank hol weekend so i was in bed and on the sofa when all the nice weather was here... i can't explain how soul destroying that was! So anyway i got a text saying that there was something seriously wrong if I didn't want to spend time with her over the weekend and it was best we call it a day! I had already told her i was ill and would get in touch if i picked up but there you go she obviously thought i was fibbing.
I can't believe how good i felt 2 weeks ago and how absolutely rock bottom i feel now!
Do others on here have problems with frequent illnesses? I seem to get something every other week which doesn't fit in with my lifestyle and appears excessive to say the least.
Anyway i think i'll cut this short because i can feel a massive depressing yarn coming on.
Regards OBE

Thank you very much for showing an interest Heather it's greatly appreciated.
After some persuasion by a well intended family member I made contact with her today just to be utterly bamboozled by womens logic! Definitely think it was duff advice and i should have played the long ball.
Not to worry you live and learn.
I'm going to try and take the positives out of this and move on.
The thing is I liked the going out places and the companionship, i don't like pubs and drinking and blokes really so it means i'll be back to weight lifting and mountain bikes and swimming which looks fantastic from the outside but really if we're honest is a load of bollocks!
Thanks again Heather.
Regards OBE

I feel for you OBE,many a relationship of mine has gone down the swanny in Autumn.!My parents used to joke that I did it so I didn't have to spend money on girlfriends at Xmas!

Hey thanks for all the replies and best wishes peeps they're most appreciated.
Apologies to Sandyb as I feel like i've stolen this thread.
Unfortunately I'm unable to write anything positive or constructive as I've descended rapidly into madness ha ha ha (evil laugh) Seriously i'm amazed at how quickly i've changed into a completely different person. My brain seems to be consumed by negativity and despair... I can't spend my life on this emotional rollercoaster any longer, i've got to fix this for good. I can't face the prospect of taking prescription meds, i've been there and tried several and the upheaval is too great to go through again. I think the SJW route worked quite well last year and I can remember on several occasions thinking to myself that my mood was very stable, so i'm going to stick with it.
I think I should have possibly stayed on a low dose through the summer to maintain and then increased again about now. I'm feeling really wired in the mornings and intensely anxious with hot and cold flushes, dry eyes etc which i'm pretty sure is because it's early days and eventually this will settle down ( i should be able to remember from last year but my brains like a jigsaw puzzle at the mo)
I would appreciate anyones experiences with dosage and intervals with sjw.
I'm taking 2 in the morning and then 1 late morning 334mg each but upon further research i think possibly taking 1 at 3 separate occasions might be better.
Apologies for my dismal post and i hope you are all weathering the storm with a smile.
Kindest regards OBE

Cant get my brain working right now but somewhere along the line i totally agree with OBE i know how your feeling hunni when it comes to relationships, just sitting enjoying my light box for the first time, i'll let u all know how i get on!

OBE how is it going with that girl? Is she being understanding??
I met my husband in highschool and he knew I was moody from the start. ha! it's only been since we've had children that I have gotten to be a real downer in the winter time. He finally told me I need to do something about it. So I just bought a light box, I have considered Meds for along time but relied only on Herbals up till now. I guess last winter put him over the edge! I don't blame him it was horrible.